Gay lifestyle in Fiji

29 Jan, 2012
Lots of people have asked me “how life is different when you are gay?’ and they are, well surprised when I say it’s not any different from a “straight” persons.
Many heterosexual people expect a homosexual person’s life to be dramatic and terrifying.
Yes I would never deny that for many of our gay brothers and sisters it has been a very difficult journey. And the undeniable truth is that they continue to struggle, either within themselves or their parents /family and mostly the society.
Homosexuality is strictly a very taboo topic amongst all pacific island cultures. Parents rarely discuss sex topics here, so discussions’ revolving around homosexuality is far fetched. If somehow families have some suspicions about their child or sibling being gay they mostly choose to ignore it, and pretend they are “normal”
Oh yes the word normal wasn’t incorrectly used at all!
Gay people in the pacific society are not considered normal, especially by the older generations. They consider us to be the Devils Child bound for hell till eternity. Unless off course we decide to change our lifestyle and repent our grave “sin”.
This brings me to Adam an Eve, the mother and father of all human kind. Don’t take me wrong I respect all religions and god and consider myself religious. Yet I can’t help but think! They were used as the ultimate example for sinning. We are taught from childhood that sodomy, adultery, lying, cheating etc is unacceptable behaviors. But has someone stopped to think that, if Adam and Eve’s myth is actually true then for you and me to exist a grave sin has been committed?
The big word we looking for here is ADULTERY. Yes there I said it. Now please don’t ask me an explanation!
NOW sit back, take a minute or two and think!
Homosexuals are still human beings. Like everybody else they are warm blooded…surprise!! We breathe in oxygen and breathe out carbon dioxide, don’t believe me? We also feel pain, happiness, bliss, joy etc, not convinced yet? Okay here comes the big one… we also happen to have emotions and know how to love on a wide spectrum. Now I know what you are thinking, think again!
We don’t only love people of the same sex no! We love our parents, siblings, friends, family and animals alike just like any other person. And NO we do not imply SEX when we say love. Strange huh that the “not normal” bunch of homosexuals sound like “humans” and in fact just like you!
We are a part of this society, and despite all the criticism, hate and negative attitude we still take pride in our country and the society. We not only pay our taxes but take part in community service as well. We take care off our loved ones and help total strangers whenever we can.
So the golden question that pops in my mind is “why are we categorized as a minority group?”  It’s not like we have only a 100 gay people in Fiji or even Oceania. In fact if we take into consideration the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and the questioning we might just hit the 30-35% of the total population. Now that’s a huge number, even if it’s not accurate.
By now you must be thinking that there’s absolutely nothing that I see as a downside to being gay right? Well to be quiet honest there are a few. Of course I love my ravishing gay life and wouldn’t change it for anything. Yet there are certain things that aren’t very appealing about being queer.
The topmost turnoff factor on my list is the stereotyping. Now usually I’m very strong headed, and don’t let others opinions get to me. However all the stereotypes that surrounds the gay lifestyle gets on my nerves.
The most common one would be that gay people are just all about having sex.
The society can hardly imagine gay people having a steady relationship. They think we are all about one night stands. That we are a bunch of horn dogs just waiting to ejaculate and end of story. What come on what kind of crap is that!
Yes who doesn’t like sex? But seriously there are some heterosexuals out there that cannot control there urge and end up assaulting someone. So please stop thinking that gay people only want sex and nothing else. Makes me wonder how this stupid thing started in the first place.
The second one is AIDS! Yep creed as it was known in the 80’s. Ever since the virus has come about homosexuals, in most cases gay men have been blamed for it. In fact back then some thought that this pandemic would never have arisen if it weren’t for homosexuals.  OMG come-on what a joke! Just because of this many people died from the virus, because they feared to be exposed of being gay.
Okay so what it was a common disease amongst homosexuals back then. But can anyone provide absolute proof that only homosexuals had it? Or that it all started from homosexuals during gay sex! Yes it was hard to admit that you had the virus because of the mindset people had about it. So rather then admitting to their promiscuous behavior for getting the virus the safer option would have been to blame the homosexuals.
Another one that totally slipped my mind for a bit is that, one had a traumatic childhood or experience that they became gay. This is usually associated with sexual assault. Yes I admit in some cases it is true but rarely. A person can have the most amazing childhood- a good home, lovely parents, siblings and family, a good education to add to the list. But they can just still simply be gay.
A person cannot suppress their feelings for life. You may be able to lie to the entire world about your sexuality but what about yourself? And for how long will you be able to keep up the charade?  You simply cannot change who you are, and especially cannot help the way you feel things. And if somebody doesn’t respect you for what you are then they don’t deserve you. Yes it will be hard for some to accept your sexuality giove them some time. But if they don’t come around then you’re better off without them.
The most important thing is that you feel comfortable in you own skin. No matter what anyone says look deep within your heart. If in your heart you think what you doing is right then don’t let anything or anyone intimidate or change you.
Don’t just be a proud homosexual be a proud PERSON because you’re unique and special in your own way just like any other.

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